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FOLEY
And how is everyone tonight? It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything, but I’m feeling good tonight and the hands seem to be functioning well enough to type a few things out. Let’s get started.
There’s a sure way that you can tell my gal friend, Alice Kramden, is a Republican. I went up to one of the local fast food chains and went through the drive-thru to order us dinner. When I got home and started to remove the food, we discovered the order was wrong as it generally is about half the time. The question was, whose fault was it for this mess up?
Was it the fault of the workers at the restaurant who prepared the food? Not according to Alice. Was it the fault of the employee who took my order and my money? Not according to Alice. Was it the fault of the employee who bagged the order then slammed a sticker on it saying it was double checked for accuracy? Nope, sure wasn’t. Whose fault was it? According to Alice it was mine and solely my fault for not having checked the bag even though it had that damn sticker on it assuring me it would be 100 percent correct. And that’s how you know she’s a Repug. They all live by the philosophy that whatever happens, no matter how bad, no matter how sleazy, no matter how awful it is, it just has to be somebody else’s fault. In the Repug’s case, that usually means the Democrats.
Yes, Alice is a one hundred percent die hard Republican. She says that’s the way she was brought up and that’s the way she’ll always vote. Besides, that kind of loyalty frees her mind from having to watch the news or keep up on current events. She can just swallow those Repug talking points as their loyal base always does and move on saving her brain power for more important things. But somehow I don’t think even Alice is buying the act that’s been coming out of Washington lately.
Of course I’m talking about the Foley mess because all of the other messes spewed out by Bushco are a bit too complicated for her and a great many Americans to get a grip on. But somehow they can grasp the idea that a congressman wants to flirt with teenage boys in ways Scarlett O’Hara never dreamed of while out there on the porch with the Tarleton twins.
At first the Republicans seemed to be taken aback by it, or at least the two or three left who didn’t know about Foley’s propensity for doing penis comparisons with minors over the internet. The rest of the Repug gang, who seemed well aware of how Foley was occupying his time while waiting for congress to finish voting on the latest tax breaks for the wealthy, seemed to be a bit discombobulated by the fact that the big “secret” was uncovered by a national news media who had been doing such a good job of licking Repug boots for the past six years or so. But after a few days of pointing their stinky fingers at each other, they got back on track and began pointing them at the usual enemies of their brainless base, those enemies being the “liberal” media, Hollywood, and the Democrats. And I’m sure a great many of those repug butt sniffers who make up the base are following in perfect goose step harmony. So much in fact that I hear new versions of Mel Brooks musical The Producers will be doing away with the Springtime for Hitler number and replacing it with Springtime for Falwell, danced in unison by a chorus made up of Southern Baptists spinning around in a symbol of the Holy Trinity.
Now I don’t know if the Repugs strategy of playing pin the tail on the Democrats is going to work with anybody but the die-hard 35 per cent or so who think the Repulicans fart crucifixes and pee Holy Water, but it might. In a survey already taken, the hypocritical Evangelical nitwits of the world such as these Virginians who reside somewhere between the Clampetts and the Kettles and have already decided to say it’s strictly “a Foley aberration” and ignore the fact that his Repug buddies in Congress more or less did their best to cover it up because of fear of losing a house seat. Hell, even Jesus spouting Holy Rollers know which side their bread is buttered on and that the only real power they have comes from their fearless Repug Leaders and not from The Almighty. Without their fearless leaders, the powers of their religious beliefs aren’t worth two cents in the real world and they know it as well as anybody, just like the Honorable James Dobson.
James Dobson is considered one of the top leaders of the religious right. Dobson seems to think that the fact that Foley wanted to pork a few underage teenage Republican kids is one big laugh riot. James Dobson of course is head of Focus on the Family, one of those groups of parents that seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.
And what do they do in their spare time? Do they go to Disneyland? Nope! Do they go bowling? Nope. Do they jog? Nope. The main prerequisite for being a member of Focus on the Family is that you sit in front of your TV, twenty four hours, seven days a week, note pad in your hand, and you watch and watch while at the same time praying to the Lord up above that some celebrity, somewhere will utter one of the Seven words you aren’t supposed to say on TV, so that you and the other members can then flood the FCC with complaints. And the FCC, mostly handpicked by St. George of the Bush, can then decide what the sane people in the world such as you and I should or should not be allowed to hear or watch on the airwaves. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hell, it’s more fun then just changing the channel or using the parental lock!
Dobson seems to think it was those pretty young Republican teenage boys fault this happened for sashaying their cute little bottoms around the capitol providing the temptation for Foley to rush home to his email and instant messaging service. Oh, those nasty little Republican teenagers! How could they!
I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that if you think these moral Repugs have your best interests at heart, then you need to step out of watching the Maury show and jump into the real world. What it’s all about is power, and if the Repugs thought that dumping their evangelical base out like this weeks garbage would help them gain more votes then they would lose, they’d do it quicker than Judas planting a kiss on you know who. But a good many of the so called Evangelicals will never face up to it, simply because just like Dobson, they know you have to turn the other cheek and a blind eye to reality in order to keep the one thing even their God can’t give them and undoubtedly would have little if any interest in – and that’s political clout in the halls of Congress. Just ask Mr. Dobson.
There’s a sure way that you can tell my gal friend, Alice Kramden, is a Republican. I went up to one of the local fast food chains and went through the drive-thru to order us dinner. When I got home and started to remove the food, we discovered the order was wrong as it generally is about half the time. The question was, whose fault was it for this mess up?
Was it the fault of the workers at the restaurant who prepared the food? Not according to Alice. Was it the fault of the employee who took my order and my money? Not according to Alice. Was it the fault of the employee who bagged the order then slammed a sticker on it saying it was double checked for accuracy? Nope, sure wasn’t. Whose fault was it? According to Alice it was mine and solely my fault for not having checked the bag even though it had that damn sticker on it assuring me it would be 100 percent correct. And that’s how you know she’s a Repug. They all live by the philosophy that whatever happens, no matter how bad, no matter how sleazy, no matter how awful it is, it just has to be somebody else’s fault. In the Repug’s case, that usually means the Democrats.
Yes, Alice is a one hundred percent die hard Republican. She says that’s the way she was brought up and that’s the way she’ll always vote. Besides, that kind of loyalty frees her mind from having to watch the news or keep up on current events. She can just swallow those Repug talking points as their loyal base always does and move on saving her brain power for more important things. But somehow I don’t think even Alice is buying the act that’s been coming out of Washington lately.
Of course I’m talking about the Foley mess because all of the other messes spewed out by Bushco are a bit too complicated for her and a great many Americans to get a grip on. But somehow they can grasp the idea that a congressman wants to flirt with teenage boys in ways Scarlett O’Hara never dreamed of while out there on the porch with the Tarleton twins.
At first the Republicans seemed to be taken aback by it, or at least the two or three left who didn’t know about Foley’s propensity for doing penis comparisons with minors over the internet. The rest of the Repug gang, who seemed well aware of how Foley was occupying his time while waiting for congress to finish voting on the latest tax breaks for the wealthy, seemed to be a bit discombobulated by the fact that the big “secret” was uncovered by a national news media who had been doing such a good job of licking Repug boots for the past six years or so. But after a few days of pointing their stinky fingers at each other, they got back on track and began pointing them at the usual enemies of their brainless base, those enemies being the “liberal” media, Hollywood, and the Democrats. And I’m sure a great many of those repug butt sniffers who make up the base are following in perfect goose step harmony. So much in fact that I hear new versions of Mel Brooks musical The Producers will be doing away with the Springtime for Hitler number and replacing it with Springtime for Falwell, danced in unison by a chorus made up of Southern Baptists spinning around in a symbol of the Holy Trinity.
Now I don’t know if the Repugs strategy of playing pin the tail on the Democrats is going to work with anybody but the die-hard 35 per cent or so who think the Repulicans fart crucifixes and pee Holy Water, but it might. In a survey already taken, the hypocritical Evangelical nitwits of the world such as these Virginians who reside somewhere between the Clampetts and the Kettles and have already decided to say it’s strictly “a Foley aberration” and ignore the fact that his Repug buddies in Congress more or less did their best to cover it up because of fear of losing a house seat. Hell, even Jesus spouting Holy Rollers know which side their bread is buttered on and that the only real power they have comes from their fearless Repug Leaders and not from The Almighty. Without their fearless leaders, the powers of their religious beliefs aren’t worth two cents in the real world and they know it as well as anybody, just like the Honorable James Dobson.
James Dobson is considered one of the top leaders of the religious right. Dobson seems to think that the fact that Foley wanted to pork a few underage teenage Republican kids is one big laugh riot. James Dobson of course is head of Focus on the Family, one of those groups of parents that seem to have an awful lot of time on their hands.
And what do they do in their spare time? Do they go to Disneyland? Nope! Do they go bowling? Nope. Do they jog? Nope. The main prerequisite for being a member of Focus on the Family is that you sit in front of your TV, twenty four hours, seven days a week, note pad in your hand, and you watch and watch while at the same time praying to the Lord up above that some celebrity, somewhere will utter one of the Seven words you aren’t supposed to say on TV, so that you and the other members can then flood the FCC with complaints. And the FCC, mostly handpicked by St. George of the Bush, can then decide what the sane people in the world such as you and I should or should not be allowed to hear or watch on the airwaves. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hell, it’s more fun then just changing the channel or using the parental lock!
Dobson seems to think it was those pretty young Republican teenage boys fault this happened for sashaying their cute little bottoms around the capitol providing the temptation for Foley to rush home to his email and instant messaging service. Oh, those nasty little Republican teenagers! How could they!
I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that if you think these moral Repugs have your best interests at heart, then you need to step out of watching the Maury show and jump into the real world. What it’s all about is power, and if the Repugs thought that dumping their evangelical base out like this weeks garbage would help them gain more votes then they would lose, they’d do it quicker than Judas planting a kiss on you know who. But a good many of the so called Evangelicals will never face up to it, simply because just like Dobson, they know you have to turn the other cheek and a blind eye to reality in order to keep the one thing even their God can’t give them and undoubtedly would have little if any interest in – and that’s political clout in the halls of Congress. Just ask Mr. Dobson.
