Saturday, May 5, 2007
Lists
Young Hollywood's Top Earners
From Forbes:
1. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen - $40 million
2. Daniel Radcliffe - $13 Million
3. Lindsay Lohan - $6 Million
4. Dakota Fanning $4 Million
5. Amanda Bynes $2.5 Million
6. Hayden Panettiere $2 Million
7. Vanessa Anne Hudgens $2 Million
8. Abigail Breslin $1.5 Million
9. Tyler James Williams 1.2 Million
10. Joanna Levesque $1 Million
And where's poor Hilary Duff? I know she can't act, can't sing, and that all of her movies have been golden turkey's but that hasn't held back The Olson Twins. Is she now living in poverty somewhere?
Friday, May 4, 2007
Dave Della Terza
Founder of Vote for the Worst
Named number twelve top innovator
by Fortune Magazine
Congratulations Dave! I'm sure this will also serve to irritate the many Idol sheep out there who still don't get it which should make it that much more of a
Part II:
To one false tear, a broken promise
One more year and I'll try feeling modest
Crocodile tears stop pretending
That you care about me
I know you don't care
I see through the tears you're crying
I know it ain't fair
Maybe you should stop your lying*
*Crocodile Tears by
Matthew Merschery, Nat Gleason, and Paul Hollman
Thursday, May 3, 2007
A Few Random
Idle Thoughts About Idol
When I finally decided to end my regular weekly recaps of Idol a few weeks ago I thought I might write a column explaining all my why’s and wherefore’s but in the end decided there was no point to that. But I’m feeling pretty good tonight so I thought I’d knock out a few pithy sentences on the keyboard regarding Idol after all. It helps some that I no longer am tied into the rigid format that a real genuine recap requires me to be week in and week out.
It’s not like I hadn’t been hinting about quitting the recaps ever since the final twelve wannabes were announced and it became obvious that this would go down as the Idol Season from hell. Has it really only been two months since poor Brandon Rogers went down in a Blaze of Glory? Sorry Phil, I didn’t mean to hurt you that much.
It seems like this season of Idol has been going on interminably, and has crawled to a total stand still since the departure of our favorite adopted son and entertainer, Sanjayjay. Two weeks ago when he left it was quite apparent his number had come up, even before the show aired that week. I’m sure the producers suddenly found a reason to dispose with what they conceived to be a few power votes therefore finding a reason to make use of their little end of show disclaimer.
The show wasn’t much to write about with Sanjaya on it, and without him I’d just as soon spend my time doing some things a little more entertaining such as beating myself on the head with a hammer. The best thing about not writing the recaps now is that after recording the show, I only have to sit and watch it with my girlfriend, Ethel Mertz, once and not have to suffer through what seemed like endless rewinding and analyzing of each lame performance.
But make no mistake about it. Sanjaya had to go and he had to go exactly when he did. I can think of no other contestant able to garner anything close to the amount of publicity Sanjayjay did in the years that I’ve been watching. And with their big self-congratulatory shindig known as Idol gives back coming up, the last thing the producers needed was any more of the spotlight turned on Sanjayjay, Howard Stern, or Vote for the Worst. After all, hadn’t they really dreamed up this charity event in order to turn the publicity spotlight on themselves and their sponsors? I guess I’d be mad too if a lot of people at home were voting for Sanjaya as the best way of conveying one simple message: UP YOURS.
Look, I have no problem with Idol giving to Charity and promoting itself at the same time, but all of this could just as easily have been done during Finale week, when the ratings are going to be at their highest and the phone calls coming in at their peak. But by putting it in the middle of the Season they do get the best of all worlds. The show’s creators get everybody to believe they have suddenly turned into these extraordinary benevolent souls, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Scrooge dirtied up his britches after seeing the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So what if they happen to get a little extra ratings boost and more publicity for themselves and their sponsors in the middle of the lamest Idol season ever in just about every way imaginable. And on top of that they still get the big ratings bonanza they always get for the finale and don’t have to give one dime to anybody or even the guy standing down the street on the corner selling his roses.
Of course, the producers decided they could do their audience one better and gave them the big UP YOURS right back by making them dial in votes as if they were calling 911 for the entire population of Cleveland, and then telling them, “Ha Ha, Nobody goes home this week!”
The thing is that most Idol sheep don’t let things like that bother them. They just love being had by the snake oil salesmen. Of course, there was never doubt in my mind that Fox wasn’t going to give them the money regardless of the number of phone calls, bad form being what it is and all of that. Still, it’s Fox’s money the audience was giving away so this way they were able to get that warm feeling wrapping its way around their heart without even having to open their own wallets and feeling satisfied that as a loyal Idol viewer they had done their good charity type deed for the year. Sorry, Jerry. I guess that means your kids are out of luck come Labor Day.
Yeah, yeah, I know, a few of you probably kicked in a dollar or two of your own money to go along with that five mill. Well, good for you but if what happened to a few other people happens to you, I’d be checking that bank statement a lot closer. It seems there may be a double billing disease going around in a few places or that’s what my lame ass local news told me tonight.
Okay, all of that aside what do I think of the performances of the past few weeks? Can you guess? A few things stand out in my mind, though. Reading some comments on a few of the boards I think Blake the bland sent a few female type fans into a spontaneous orgasm with his “new and improved” original beat boxing segment last night. Yes, that is heavy sarcasm you’re reading into that.
Lasquishy took a few weeks off to try and sing some ill advised tunes made memorable by other Idols and quickly found that it was not the way to sing her way into the heart of
Phil found out tonight why you never sing a song that can be interpreted as a swan song. In this case he sang Blaze of Glory and tonight quickly kept that curse alive by exiting stage left.
Blake the bland also found out that only John Lennon sings John Lennon well. Chris was unable to overcome his nasal atrocities and left tonight leaving bff Blake the Bland to fend for himself.
Melinda just kept on being Melinda but being Melinda means you’re the only thoroughbred in a field of old nags.
But let’s not forget Jordin. I mean she has had a stellar couple of weeks. Yeah, but it would have been better on the ear drums if she’d use those stellar weeks actually singing worth a damn. Let me explain.
By now I’m sure that the Idol judges have the sheep and the tweenies at home believing that Jordin is the next Judy Garland/Whitney Houston/Mariah Carey/Ella Fitzgerald all rolled into her 9 foot 8 inch offensive lineman frame. What the rest of us out here in reality world see is just what I’ve seen from the beginning. Jordin is definitely a Not Ready for Prime Time Player. And I mean that in every sense of the word. This show has had some younger contestants under eighteen who were annoying at times, but there’s been nothing even close to Jordin, who is more grating on the nerves than chalk squeaking on a blackboard and more phony about it than the guy who tells you he’s your best friend than heads over to screw your girlfriend an hour later.
Vocally, she has been all over the place this season. Yet, the judges have somehow have managed to continually help her along with her excuses, or cover her weaknesses up with undeserved praise.
Last week was undeserved praise week when Randy said she gave one of the best performances on the show ever. Uh folks, You’ll Never Walk Alone is not exactly a tune to stretch anybody’s vocal chords and her rendition was as stale as that last cigarette I had a year ago. Jesus, I’d rather hear Jerry Lewis sing it as at least he is sincere about it. It gets to me every year. I actually find it in poor taste that they let Jordin use Jerry’s signature song to gather a few more votes, a few more bucks. I could probably live with that, but when they started pimping her as if she were a Babe Ruth baseball card on Ebay, that was all I could take. And then if that wasn’t quite enough, last week’s results show was about as blatant a ploy to get a contestant sympathy votes as this show has ever dared to air. And they’ve aired a few.
Come on sheep, you know as well as I do that those contestants knew they weren’t going home. But of course, after hamming it up with a few smiles and grins, I don’t think Jordin expected poor Squishy to try and grab some of those sympathy votes for herself when she tried to dab away at those tears of Jordin's. She grabbed that old Kleenex away from Squishy in such a way that you could almost hear her thinking, “Don’t horn in on my sympathy act, bitch.” Talk about a power play, one would have to think that Hockey may be another sport that interests the Thumper. At one time Squishy was probably favored to be finishing second. She isn’t now I don’t think but I certainly wish she was after all of that.
This week was “let’s give Jordin some excuse help week”. Did you know that over at AOL, they did a top ten list of the worst performances by an Idol ever in conjunction with Vote for the Worst? I now move and petition that they somehow get Jordin’s truly horrid Livin’ on a Prayer on that list. It was that bad. Yet afterward she not only pulled out her handbook of 1001 excuses and was given a chance to blather them out loud, she had the judges adding the icing on the cake with their own excuses for her and how it wasn’t her kind of music and blah blah blah. It was more than I can take and all of it had the sincerity of Ronald McDonald pimping a double cheeseburger for a dollar. And you can only imagine why Jordin was aided with those lame excuses because when you get right down to it, every one of these contestants were out of their element singing Bon Jovi. Gina Glocksen, the rocker, was in the audience and not on stage.
I know, you’re sitting there getting yourself bent out of shape because you’re sure I’m singling out Jordin your very favorite contestant. Well, there’s one contestant every season that is the recipient of this show’s over pimp, over hype and over praise award and I feel it is my duty to those in the real world to point out the lengths this show will go through to achieve certain desired results, whatever they may be.
And since I’m on a roll, that will be quite enough with the dabbing at the eyes with the tissue, Jordin. You’ve gone through enough Kleenex this year to be able to wipe that linebacker butt of yours well into September. I mean, have a little mercy on the trees for crying out loud.
Oh, and I guess I should say something about “The Kiss.” The Kiss being Simon’s lip lock with Squishy. This is what I have to say: “Squishy, I do hope that wasn’t the kiss of death.”
Anyway, I may be back with more thoughts on next weeks show. If I feel well, and feel up to it. Sort of like what I did this week.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
4 Years Later
Bush Vetoes Bill to Bring Troops Home
In only the second veto of his presidency, Bush rejected legislation that would require the first U.S. combat troops to be withdrawn from Iraq by Oct. 1 with a goal of a complete pullout six months later.
The Conclusion/Part One of Laurie and Dag is up
or
A Lesson in Cheerleading
Chris Matthews:
Do you think this role, and I want to talk politically [...], the president deserves everything he's doing tonight in terms of his leadership. He won the war. He was an effective commander. Everybody recognizes that, I believe, except a few critics. Do you think he is defining the office of the presidency, at least for this time, as basically that of commander in chief? That [...] if you're going to run against him, you'd better be ready to take [that] away from him.
With his administration under growing international pressure to find evidence that Saddam Hussein possessed banned weapons, President Bush told reporters today that ''we'll find them,'' but cautioned that it would take some time because, he said, Mr. Hussein spent so many years hiding his stockpiles.
Mr. Bush's comments came after his senior aides, in interviews in recent days, had begun to back away from their prewar claims that Mr. Hussein had an arsenal that was loaded and ready to fire.
They now contend that he developed what they call a ''just in time'' production strategy for his weapons, hiding chemical precursors that could be quickly loaded into empty artillery shells or short-range missiles.
Well, it was just--I can't think of any, any stunt by the White House--and I'll call it a stunt--that has come close. I mean, this is not only a home run; the ball is still flying out beyond the park.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
I have received the following email from a person claiming to be Jodi Sparks, Jordin's mother. I have absolutely no way to verify if was her or not but for the moment we will assume that it is her.
Fyi-That is NOT jordin’s myspace. Please don’t put it out there that it is and assume mommy and daddy had something to do with the pictures and/or billboards or anything else. We are not allowed to and her sites were taken down back in February. I have no idea whose it is. Yes, Jordin has sung at multiple charity and sports events for several years as a guest because she is local and can sing. You show up, sing, take pics, and go home. Yes she is pro-life, so what?
Re: the pics of Randy and Simon. Jordin has been a fan of the show since it started. We came to LA, made posters, and waited in line just like everyone else for that show and happened to get a couple pics. There is no conspiracy and I guarantee you Randy and Simon have no recollection of those pictures.
Re: Goerge Huff. We were visiting MWS and George happened to be there visiting. It was not planned. Again there is no conspiracy.
I hope this helps...I love my daughter and it's hard to swallow all of the negative stuff that people assume is true.
Sincerely,
Jodi Sparks
Here is my take:
I have posted your disclaimer on the pictures. But the fact is, I have known about Jordin's anti-choice stance since her very first appearance and have been debating whether to publicize it or not. So let me respond to this as if those My Space pictures were not part of the equation.
I will for the time being take what you said about the Simon and Randy pictures at face value, although obviously I think it still raises questions. But the fact is that way before Jordin's appearance those photographs were put on the internet with little or no explanation and quickly pulled with no explanation. Knowing that I'm not the only one who has those pictures (In fact another site has had them posted with far more visitors than I since Jordin's first appearance which is where I obtained them from), wouldn't it have behooved the producers and yourself to be on the up and up about it from the beginning? And how often do Randy and Simon pose with audience members after the show and under what exact circumstances than by chance were the photos obtained? And as I said, I ran those two pictures weeks ago and they barely caused a whimper at that time.
But be that as it may, when Jordin appeared on the audition show, it was made to appear that she had to audition like everybody else when in fact unlike the thousands of others she was guaranteed an audition in front of the producers by winning Arizona Idol. That would be fine except for the fact that if one was to believe Idol, one would think the only thing she received for winning Arizona Idol was a couple of plane tickets. And if she won an audition before the producers enabling her to bypass other parts of the audition process, the show should be upfront about it completely and 100 percent. So this is no knock against Jordin, but it is against the show and is another example of how they edit and manipulate the viewers at home so they will be led to a conclusion that is not in itself entirely truthful. I have written about many other candidates in this regards, especially seeing as how the show, the host, the judges, often dip into a swamp of holding people up for ridicule that don't deserve it. But as long as it is done in the name of ratings it is supposed to be okay.
Here is where I start to have a real problem:
Yes, Jordin has sung at multiple charity and sports events for several years as a guest because she is local and can sing. You show up, sing, take pics, and go home. Yes she is pro-life, so what?
The fact is, although I know you haven't read everything in my blog, you know as well as I do that when any performer takes a stance on any subject they are scrutinized because of that stance. One need only look at the campaign to destroy the career of The Dixie Chicks to see that. How often have I heard Conservatives say they will refuse to see a film by Susan Sarandon and her husband Tim Robbins because of their liberal stance? More numerous than I care to remember. So the door swings both ways and it does matter. It matters just as much as the fact that there are many groups who are voting for Jordin based on her beliefs first and singing ability second (And yes I know which groups and why). As you know, there are many reasons why people vote a certain way for whatever reason, and often it has little to do with what they are actually supposed to be voting for. That's not to say it is right or wrong, it's just the way it is human nature being what it is.
And since that picture ran the other day (and please note, I am not the only one running it and in fact another extremely popular web site led me to it), I'm sure that of those very few who have seen it (at least on this blog) there will be just as many who will vote for her because of it as those who will not vote for her now. That's a fact of life, take it or leave it. It's the same criteria that some people use to elect a president, and the same criteria they will always use regardless of any other inferior credentials he may have, or how many Americans have died for his lies. So certainly they would have no qualms about voting for an Idol using the same methodology. So how is it really different if someone decides not to vote for her for the same reason?
The fact is, if you are going to have Jordin "show up and sing" at events such as those pictured below, then her beliefs will be questioned not just by me on a lowly inconsequential blog that very few people read, but by a lot of people now and in the future with much more power of the pen and more influence than I could muster on my best day. And they won't just be questioning her anti-choice stance either, but many other of her beliefs as well. Many of the groups associated with these events at which she sang have very strong stances on other conservative issues from gay marriage to stem cell research. And let's be real, if she didn't believe in it, then she wouldn't just "show up and sing" regardless. So if one is going to appear on Idol, then they must realize and be prepared for what their instant celebrity status means and every stance they take and word they utter will be scrutinized by far more widely distributed columns than what I post here.
Since you offered no explanation for the billboard other than that you did not pay for it, I will take your word that it was sponsored by someone else. But to me, it really doesn't matter who paid for it as it is more or less just another example of how people can go strangely overboard because of this show. When I see billboards, merchandise, and ads all over the internet imploring people to vote for this contestant or that contestant, I really do cringe. I don't even want to think about the money spent by some groups to try and push some of these contestants into the winners circle. But I guess with the fame and the money involved, one will do what they have to do to win but it has become so cutthroat now I wonder how anyone really derives much pleasure from the show. It has become apparent that a contestant's publicity machine may be almost as important as their voice these days. Just ask Taylor Hicks. The novelty would be if a parent or spouse or whoever would come out against the money being spent by some groups to campaign for a contestant's victory, when that money would have far better uses.
Up until two weeks ago I was offering a synopsis, but in the middle of writing the last one I began to feel that it was all rather pointless. That and the fact that it was hard to find humor anymore in repetitive aspects of the show. Either you buy into the show or not, and the fact that so many people are now questioning what goes on has more to do with the continual secrecy of the show than anything I write on these pages. And quite frankly, the contrived over the top manipulative way in which the producers ended the show last week may in the end do more damage than anything I can write here. For me, I no longer need to parody the show because the show itself has slipped into that realm of becoming its own parody of everything that is wrong with reality television.
I have no axe to grind with Jordin or any contestant personally. But obviously I am pro-choice and I have as much right to speak out in favor of it as any other person does to speak out or to use their status to sing out against it. She is not the first contestant that I have ever written about. I won't be phoning in votes for her, but I won't be phoning in votes for other candidates either if that is any consolation. It is up to the viewers to decide if they want to spend several hours dialing in votes, and it is up to them to decide if those votes really do matter. It is also up to them to vote for which ever contestant they see fit for whatever reason they see fit whether it is because they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or whether they are anti-choice or pro-choice, pretty or ugly, skinny or fat. And maybe a few viewers might actually phone in votes simply because they think someone is the best talent on the show. That in itself might be a novelty.
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