Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid? Dead Men Walking? Weekend at Clementes? D.O.A.?

So, you’re a grave digger.  Your assignment:  Dig up the grave of a one of your patrons so it can be extended so that the deceased man’s recently departed wife can be tossed in there to keep the guy company whether he wants her there or not.  For all we know, she may have been an old nag who sent him to an early grave.

So an uncle and a niece show up, you dig the old guy up, and they decide that since they are having this family reunion anyway, why not make it the photo-op of a lifetime?  Not all of us have that opportunity, so I say, go for it.

From The New York Daily News expressing their own faux outrage:

A Spanish gravedigger has been suspended after a creepy picture of him posing with an exhumed corpse went viral.

The cemetery worker reportedly dug up the body of a man who'd died 23 years ago so his recently deceased wife could be added to the family tomb. But when he opened the crypt he discovered that the man's body had become mummified and was still practically intact.

Rather than break up the body so another corpse could fit into the same space straight away, he decided to contact members of the deceased man's family.

His nephew and niece arrived — and the woman took a photograph of her dead relative standing next to the digger and her living relation.

The niece is then believed to have sent the snap to another family member via messaging service WhatsApp. It then quickly spread and was posted on several different social media sites, reports The Local.

What do I think?  I think it’s perfectly genuine and those who are expressing outrage should just take it elsewhere.  I mean, can one really be horrified over an actual dead corpse after watching live walking zombies on The Walking Dead for the past four years? 

If it was any old Tom, Dick, or Harry, off the street you might have a point.  But since it was the relatives, why not have your Kodak moment even though the once largest maker of film and cameras is deader than your departed uncle.  It’s almost poetic.  And share your joy with the world, on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or in this case, What’s App?  You now have a Christmas Card insert for all of eternity.

You’ve also made your uncle more famous than he ever was or hoped to be when he had a heartbeat, so why not let him hang around for a while and enjoy all the cool gadgets we didn’t have when he keeled over two decades ago? 

I mean, sit him on the couch and let him watch that 70 inch flat screen while you play your blu-ray copy of Weekend At Bernie’s you have in your library and he’ll feel right at home.  Not only that, when you do watch The Walking Dead, you’ll have your own movie prop right there with you.

And hey, maybe you can get him booked on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon?  He’d be the perfect guest considering how dead that show has been since Fallon took over.

As for myself, if twenty-three years after I’m gone, some relative wants to dig me up and post my picture on a billboard or whatever, that’s fine with me.  If they are still having that family reunion thingy back there every summer, you can take me along and we’ll have a meet and greet.  Let’s Party.


  1. He looks pretty good for someone who is over a score old.

    1. Certainly. I would say let him enjoy a breath or two of fresh air.....if he were breathing that is.